Rby Pam Stroup
This is my first year serving as a lay counselor. I have to admit that while the training I’ve received from the Lay Counselor Institute (LCI) has been enlightening and quite instructive, when I was preparing to sit down across from my first “client”, I wasn’t sure I was ready. I was right. I wasn’t ready. Who ever feels completely prepared to care for others?!?
It quickly became clear to me that I would have to continually resist my own agenda during my time in the lay counselor’s chair. I prayed throughout the session and worked strenuously on my own body language, trying to remain relaxed and open so that I might create a safe space.
“I have to continually resist my own agenda during my time in the lay counselor’s chair.”
Perhaps the greatest gift was remembering something I’d heard from Dr. Bill Clark during LCI’s Level 2 training. “It’s wise to tell the client ahead of time that the first time you’re together is about getting to know them – letting go of the notion that much will change as a result of that first session together.”
This counsel allowed me to actually listen and get to know the client without the pressure of performing in the counseling role. Remembering that assessment comes first (allowing the client to be the expert and teach the lay counselor who they are). Sharing this goal with my clients has seemed to encourage them to share more broadly about themselves as well. Listening and asking great follow-up questions has led to a promising start for both of us for our future sessions together.
Takeaway Tips:
- Make sure the client knows the first session is about getting to know them.
- Practice active listening, and release the need to “perform” as a counselor.
- Ask specific follow-up questions that open up the conversation further.
LCI Resources:
- Resource for Listening Well and Asking Great Questions can be found in LCI’s 5-week Lab Manual.
- Resource for Assessment (the first stage in our counseling model) can be found in LCI’s Level 2 Manual.
About the Author
For 18 years, Pam Stroup served on staff in various discipleship ministries at a local church. In 2016, Pam joined the Lay Counselor Ministry team and began to engage in the 3 levels of Lay Counselor training. Pam strongly supports LCI’s mission to prepare Christ followers for the care of others. Today, she continues to mentor younger women and enjoys being a listening ear for those who want to share their journey with someone. Pam has four adult children and two grandchildren, and is enjoying the transition into a new stage of life with her husband, Steve. Pam currently resides in Falls Church, VA.