By: Dr. Bill Clark
Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural sexual relations for unnatural ones. [bold added] Romans 1:26
Pandemic[1]
Every 2 years I teach a graduate class titled, “Assessment and treatment of sexual problems.” It’s a 3 day intensive, 8 hours a day, covering a wide array of sexual issues, various treatment methods and a basic model of treatment. One of the assignments is a detailed, confidential sexual history using a particular framework presented in class. They give enough detail to ensure me that they understand the essence of each category in the framework. The first section begins with a description of their family, culture, gender roles and “sexual” environment, and proceeds to address early “arousal” experiences and, if present, sexually abusive events or relationships.
Every year I am heartbroken to read these stories, especially the events and circumstances that usher them into the world of sexuality. Rarely are these introductions planned, graceful, appropriate or primarily “helpful.” Sadly, very few of them now are “innocent”; kids simply exploring their bodies, playing “house” or “doctor.” Instead, the now adult students (ranging in age from 24-65), were predominantly introduced, prematurely, to the erotic world by predators and/or pornography in some form. Almost all of the predators were familiar, not strangers. Some were the same age, many were teens or adults. Incest continues to be common, especially in some cultures where sexual things are not to be discussed at all. Needless to say, parents are rarely aware of what is happening to their kids.
This year’s class of 28 students (11 males, 17 females) included Puerto Ricans, Indians, African Americans, Mennonites, other white Americans, South Americans, and one from Eastern Europe; a fairly diverse audience. 19 of them had suffered abuse of some kind, mostly sexual. Almost half had been exposed to pornography at an early age, and more than half of those were female. Many described addictions to masturbation and pornography, including again, a surprising number of females.
Women and pornography
A staff member from Reston Bible Church recently did extensive research on the growing issue of women and pornography to help the church face this new reality. She shared a recent statistic which reveals that “women in the 18-24 age range are watching porn more than men in that age range.[2]
Here’s more of what she shared:
Pornography has traditionally been seen as a male problem, but the data uncovered here suggests otherwise. A growing number of women are fighting the same battle. Statistics show one in three visitors to a pornography site is a woman. One in five Christian women uses pornography. Seventy percent of new pornography websites are specifically geared towards women, and nearly half of women today believe viewing pornography is acceptable behavior. In addition, nearly 30% of all Internet traffic is now pornography related with the biggest pornography site receiving over four billion page views and 350 million unique visits per month.[3]
That’s not all. The United Nations Office on Drugs and Crime’s (UNODC) 2016 Global Report on Trafficking in Persons reports that 40% of convictions for the crime of human trafficking were women, and in Eastern Europe and Central Asia, women made up 55 percent of convictions.[4]
Scientific American cites the National Crime Victimization Surveys (NCVS), pooled over 4 years, and “found that 35 percent of male victims who experienced rape or sexual assault reported at least one female perpetrator.”[5]
In other words, more and more women are actively participating in the trafficking of women and children, utilizing pornography, and perpetrating sexual abuse. This is both alarming and stunning. If you are like me, this does not fit your “stereotype” of women.
It takes me to this passage in Romans that has struck me, at least as it’s translated in the English language:
Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural sexual relations for unnatural ones. [bold added]
Is Paul suggesting in this passage a fundamental difference in the sexual make up of women? That they are generally more “sane” and mature when it comes to intimacy and lust? Is he implying that when we observe that “even” the women are losing their bearing relationally and sexually, that we are in a global spiritual and moral crisis; a pandemic of sorts?
The author of the RBC research adds this insight,
“The more pornography [and other forms of sexual deviation] is addressed as a man’s issue, the more isolated and trapped women feel. When women keep their struggle silent, they don’t get the help and healing they need. Men’s resources do not necessarily work for women because women can struggle differently with lust than men do. The good news is awareness around women’s pornography use is increasing and so are the resources available to help.”
I am encouraged that some churches are addressing these issues, just as some families and ministries do, despite the risk and discomfort it invariably brings. It is not easy to discuss and it is frequently met with resistance and criticism. But we need to more than ever. Being aware and alert, providing a safe and graceful environment, and offering age appropriate information, while avoiding simplistic over-generalizations, is not just the responsibility of parents or therapists. Can we take risks, acknowledge and invite conversation and support for this trend?
Take time to process what you thought and felt as you read this. Let us know any thoughts you might have. In the coming months, we hope to have several blogs, by several writers, addressing sexual issues that counselors and lay counselors are facing.
[1]A pandemic (from Greek πᾶν pan “all” and δῆμος demos “people”) is an epidemic of infectious disease that has spread across a large region; for instance multiple continents, or even worldwide.
[2] https://fightthenewdrug.org/data-reveals-women-are-searching-hardcore-genres/
[3]Purity emphasis: resources for women using pornography. Research done for Reston Bible Church. Various sources mentioned for these statements including Covenant Eyes, Purity is possible by Helen Thorne, etc.
[4] https://www.palmbeachpost.com/news/crime–law/women-often-trap-girls-other-women-into-human-trafficking/zTKPl4pOzITuWINvSFD6YI/
[5]https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/sexual-victimization-by-women-is-more-common-than-previously-known/